Time for another rant. For her birthday, the girl got one of those Wake-up Lights by Phillips. It is, to be blunt, crap.
Phillips claims the "Wake-up Light is the best option to wake you up naturally."
I would very much like to know how the hell you wake up unnaturally.
Ah, but it "helps you to be ready for your day in a gentle way".
Gentle? The light is strong enough to blind bypassing aeroplanes, for crying out loud.
The alternative option is waking up to "the sound of birds". They failed to say the bird in question was a fucking duck. Adding insult to injury, the background noice is that of pouring water. If you're not gagging for a pee already, trust me, you will be.
So, summing up, a gentle way of waking up according to Phillips, is doing so in a light so bright it'll make Michael Jackson look black, surrounded by raving ducks, possibly laying in a pool of your own urine.
Gentle? Compared to what? A chainsaw up your ass?
/JP
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