How would you like to get screwed financially as well as sexually?
At present, a pornstar seminar is being held in Florida. Basically, if you are a woman, you pay $4000 to get fucked in front of a camera, receive the (a?) tape, and then get a few tips on how to set up a photoshoot that you could just as easily have found for free online if you only knew how to google.
What kind of intellectual wasteland buys this?
Obviously, the other side of the story is that men can pay $4000, fuck an above-average looking woman (albeit with a vagina the size of Grand Canyon) and then get it on tape. In which case I yet again question the double standards of modern society. Pay someone for sex - go to jail. Pay someone for sex and tape it and you're free to go.
Simply astonishing.
/JP
Saturday 29 March 2008
Friday 28 March 2008
Random shots
A few weird news stories from the past week..
US scientists have discovered, through extensive research I'm sure, that attractive, successful women are more likely to be drawn to attractive, successful men. So for all you overweight, unemployed, fugly s.o.b.'s out there, Paris Hilton won't be coming knocking on your (mom's) door. In related news: scientists have just discovered that the sky is blue.
After what critics claim to be an allround successful performance in sitcom "How I met your mother", Britney Spears is likely to get her own comedy show. Early entries for possible names of the show include "Trailer park girl", "How I met your lazy ass father" and "Completely fucking LOST".
Also in the news, possibly the world's first pregnant man. Thomas Beatie, a transgender man, claims to be five months pregnant with a baby girl. I don't know how she got him pregnant. Any way you look at it, you would have to assume he's in for a painful delivery.
Lastly, a woman in Germany is taking a hospital to court after she went in for a leg operation and got a new anus instead. She left the hospital furious, but not before having done a number three.
/JP
US scientists have discovered, through extensive research I'm sure, that attractive, successful women are more likely to be drawn to attractive, successful men. So for all you overweight, unemployed, fugly s.o.b.'s out there, Paris Hilton won't be coming knocking on your (mom's) door. In related news: scientists have just discovered that the sky is blue.
After what critics claim to be an allround successful performance in sitcom "How I met your mother", Britney Spears is likely to get her own comedy show. Early entries for possible names of the show include "Trailer park girl", "How I met your lazy ass father" and "Completely fucking LOST".
Also in the news, possibly the world's first pregnant man. Thomas Beatie, a transgender man, claims to be five months pregnant with a baby girl. I don't know how she got him pregnant. Any way you look at it, you would have to assume he's in for a painful delivery.
Lastly, a woman in Germany is taking a hospital to court after she went in for a leg operation and got a new anus instead. She left the hospital furious, but not before having done a number three.
/JP
Monday 24 March 2008
Model citizen
Sorry for the hiatus, I've been away (obviously).
Straight back to form, I thought I'd rant a bit about the fashion industry. Now, don't get me wrong, I like design. I just think that the industry tends to lose touch with reality every so often. For one, if Amy Winehouse is considered a fashion icon despite her looking like a crack addicted prostitute, chances are good something's rotten in the state of Denmark. The only reason I can find for that whole "whore look" not going out of date is because a whore seldom is out of dates. Want to get the boys to look at you? Dress like you would have sex with anyone for $20! Don't forget to cry all the way home when they don't respect you though.
Accordingly, I have a hard time respecting models, and none more so than these so called lingerie models who, at 16 or so, put in huge implants, bleach their hair and take off their clothes in front of anyone who has a mobile phone camera or above. In essence, these women (and I use the term "women" quite wrongly) are nothing more than oxygen thieves.
A while back I was at a bar and a girl who would fit very well into the category above came up to me. She had huge plastic boobs, pushed up so high that if her nipples stiffened she would probably poke her eyes out.
The girl: "Hi there".
Me: "Hey".
The girl: "I would do anything for you".
Me: "Really? Anything?".
The girl: "Yeah. Is there anything you.. ..would like me to do?".
Me: "Well, you look like you're used to laying down.. ..I could use a new stand for my bike."
Would probably be the cheapest place to park too.
/JP
Straight back to form, I thought I'd rant a bit about the fashion industry. Now, don't get me wrong, I like design. I just think that the industry tends to lose touch with reality every so often. For one, if Amy Winehouse is considered a fashion icon despite her looking like a crack addicted prostitute, chances are good something's rotten in the state of Denmark. The only reason I can find for that whole "whore look" not going out of date is because a whore seldom is out of dates. Want to get the boys to look at you? Dress like you would have sex with anyone for $20! Don't forget to cry all the way home when they don't respect you though.
Accordingly, I have a hard time respecting models, and none more so than these so called lingerie models who, at 16 or so, put in huge implants, bleach their hair and take off their clothes in front of anyone who has a mobile phone camera or above. In essence, these women (and I use the term "women" quite wrongly) are nothing more than oxygen thieves.
A while back I was at a bar and a girl who would fit very well into the category above came up to me. She had huge plastic boobs, pushed up so high that if her nipples stiffened she would probably poke her eyes out.
The girl: "Hi there".
Me: "Hey".
The girl: "I would do anything for you".
Me: "Really? Anything?".
The girl: "Yeah. Is there anything you.. ..would like me to do?".
Me: "Well, you look like you're used to laying down.. ..I could use a new stand for my bike."
Would probably be the cheapest place to park too.
/JP
Friday 7 March 2008
The smell of sperms
Came across an old episode of one of my favorite shows, QI, in which they discuss the fact that sperms can smell. Just fast forward to 4:30 if you don't want to sit through the first part of the video.
Anyway, according to German scientists, sperm will shoot (poor choice of words perhaps) towards the smell of lily of the valley. Supposedly, this could help those with conception difficulties. Just spray some perfume on your knickers, and you'll be good to go.
How? If the sperms race in unison towards the smell, that would mean they'll just come right back out again like an exploding fountain of semen. Unless you're wearing your panties on the inside which just might be the reason you were having conception difficulties in the first place.
Stephen Fry then adds: "It has long been a mystery how sperm can all go in the same direction so fast at the same time".
No, it hasn't. Unless you ejaculate like a sawed-off shotgun, chances are pretty good they'll all go in the direction you're aiming. It's the same thing as when you're peeing, for crying out loud. There aren't many guys in the world who have to pee in the bathtub in order not to spray the walls with urine.
/JP
Anyway, according to German scientists, sperm will shoot (poor choice of words perhaps) towards the smell of lily of the valley. Supposedly, this could help those with conception difficulties. Just spray some perfume on your knickers, and you'll be good to go.
How? If the sperms race in unison towards the smell, that would mean they'll just come right back out again like an exploding fountain of semen. Unless you're wearing your panties on the inside which just might be the reason you were having conception difficulties in the first place.
Stephen Fry then adds: "It has long been a mystery how sperm can all go in the same direction so fast at the same time".
No, it hasn't. Unless you ejaculate like a sawed-off shotgun, chances are pretty good they'll all go in the direction you're aiming. It's the same thing as when you're peeing, for crying out loud. There aren't many guys in the world who have to pee in the bathtub in order not to spray the walls with urine.
/JP
Monday 3 March 2008
On the topic of Carolina Gynning
To recap the background of Miss Gynning for those who don't know her, she is basically Sweden's version of Jade Goody; a former Big Brother contestant who has all the wits of a dead seagull.
This is a woman who removed her implants, coloured her hair dark and then considered herself an intellectual, which in itself is fucking hilarious. Now she's got her own show called "In the head of Carolina Gynning", which I assumed when I first heard the title would be a one hour black screen. Having now seen it, it would for all intents and purposes have been better had that actually been the case. As Stephen Fry would have put it, sometimes there just isn't enough vomit in the world.
Anyway, today Aftonbladet is running a story titled "Så ska Gynning bli Hollywood-stjärna" (This is how Gynning is going to become a Hollywood star). The preamble states that she's going through hard workouts in order to reach "her next big goal". Apparently her next big goal is to get an overweight body to go along with her thick head, because her comment on the gruesome training she's undertaking is "I've eaten so fucking much American junkfood".
Why on Earth would Hollywood want another fat moron? Isn't Roseanne Barr enough?
/JP
This is a woman who removed her implants, coloured her hair dark and then considered herself an intellectual, which in itself is fucking hilarious. Now she's got her own show called "In the head of Carolina Gynning", which I assumed when I first heard the title would be a one hour black screen. Having now seen it, it would for all intents and purposes have been better had that actually been the case. As Stephen Fry would have put it, sometimes there just isn't enough vomit in the world.
Anyway, today Aftonbladet is running a story titled "Så ska Gynning bli Hollywood-stjärna" (This is how Gynning is going to become a Hollywood star). The preamble states that she's going through hard workouts in order to reach "her next big goal". Apparently her next big goal is to get an overweight body to go along with her thick head, because her comment on the gruesome training she's undertaking is "I've eaten so fucking much American junkfood".
Why on Earth would Hollywood want another fat moron? Isn't Roseanne Barr enough?
/JP
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