Saturday 19 April 2008

Keeping the score

If you've read the "crash course" blog below, you know that Linda Rosing has "decided to stay out of newspapers" and erase that whole "headline Linda" persona.

So far, she's doing really well.

In fact, she's talking about how well she's doing in today's Aftonbladet.

Seems to me she's failing spectacularly yet again. Who would have guessed?

Anyone but herself probably.

/JP

Thursday 17 April 2008

Career? You're in it, mate

As I'm looking to replace a few parts in my kitchen fan, I went to visit K-rauta's website. Behold, two new K-rauta stores are being opened shortly, one in Kungens Kurva and the other in Partille.

Apparently, Swedish Eurovision winner Charlotte Perelli and Idol winner Marie something or other will be there to perform at the events.

I would have loved to hear their agents tell them about the gigs. I'm thinking it went something like this:

Perelli: "Charlotte".
Agent: "Hey, it's Bloodsucker McBoombuff, your agent. I've got a gig for you".
Perelli: "Alright, let's hear it".
Agent: "Two gigs for K-rauta, one in Kungens kurva, the other in Partille".
Perelli: "What the hell? Are you joking? Performing at hardware stores?"
Agent: "Yeah, I thought it'd be a great way to promote the latest album. It'll only take like ten minutes per gig".
Perelli: "No way".
Agent: "I've already signed the contract for you".
Perelli: "You WHAT? Fine, I'll do it, but you are fucking fired".

Marie: "Marie".
Agent: "Hey, it's Jean-Pierre le Poop, your agent. I've got a gig for you".
Marie: "A GIG? WOOOOOOOOT!!!!"
Agent: "It's for K-rauta. They were the only ones willing to book you".
Marie: "A GIG! A GIG! A GIG!"
Agent: "Yeah, but they'll be pa..
Marie: "GIGGETY, GIGGETY, GIG!!"
Agent: "Yeah, but they'll be paying in planks and nails".
Marie: "MOM! SOMEBODY LIKES ME!"

/JP

Monday 14 April 2008

A huge Bill

I just received one of the funniest spam e-mails I've seen in quite some time. The headline read: "Enlargement made easy, find out why Hillary is still with Bill Clinton". So that's the reason?

I'm guessing that's close, but no cigar.

/JP

The body of a 12-year old and the brain to match

Soul singer Mariah Carey is once again proving herself to be two grapes short of a fruit salad. Carey, 38 years old, recently stated in an interview about the front cover of her new single "Touch my body" that she's got the body of a 12-year old.

I'm willing to bet her maturity reaches even lower levels.

A 12-year old body, posing semi nude on a single called "Touch my body"? Has her career really gone so far down the proverbial toilet she's now targeting the lucrative pedophile segment of the market?

Her record label must be as happy as a penguin in a microwave.

/JP

Sunday 13 April 2008

World class comedy

Venezuela has just decided to stop showing "The Simpsons" as it has been deemed too immoral.

What have they decided to show instead?

Baywatch.

"Yeah, The Simpsons is way too immoral. I want something clean, good old family entertainment, to go with my breakfast. How about some bimbos who can't act worth a shit? Yeah, boobs go well with my cereal".

Some people..

/JP

Thursday 10 April 2008

A crash course

Perhaps the biggest joke in recent Swedish history is Linda Rosing. For those who don't know (of) her, here's a quick recap.

1. Became famous (and I use the term famous very loosely) through Big Brother where she repeatedly had intercourse on live TV.
2. Went on to pose nude in various magazines.
3. Started a pop career, calling herself "Bionda", making a complete ass of herself yet again.
4. Married professional doorman "Fabbe".
5. Became politician, speaking out in various tv-shows and newspapers about how stupid it is to pose nude, how wrong it is to do porn, how women should try education instead of instant gratification. Didn't see the joke in it. Go figure.
6. Having failed at yet another profession, she turned to porn, saying "well, I won't do boy/girl stuff".
7. When the husband was thrown in prison and became unable to support her, she quickly divorced and stated that, come to think of it, she would do boy/girl stuff after all.
8. Broke contract with porn giant "Private", perhaps because it was too hard for her.
9. Became air hostess.

Apparently, this was her "dream profession" all along and her kids are ever so proud of her now that "she's gotten an education". Be that as it may, personally I'm far from confident she'll be able to handle walking up and down the isle asking "coffee or tea?".

She also made a point of saying that she doesn't want to be "headline Linda", she wants to be able to do something well. On one hand, at least she's honest about her previous professional career. On the other, it doesn't seem like a good start saying that she doesn't want to appear in newspapers IN A NEWSPAPER.

/JP