We started off in February, with Britney Spears' suicide watch which TCO estimated would have made for some great television.
In March, Carolina Gynning made her first appearance as a result of her show "In the head of Carolina Gynning" which essentially was made up of one hour long episodes featuring nothing but static noise and a blank screen.
April featured one of the biggest jokes in recent history - Linda Rosing - and yet another failure of hers, trying not to be a complete pain in everyone's ass. It lasted for all of five minutes.
In May, the official birthday month of TCO's brother, we learned that "OGC" didn't stand for the Office of Government Commerce, but rather One Giant Cock-up.
Then June and July came along and just like any other newsyear, not much happened. TCO was mainly found riding a sportsbike somewhere in Sweden. Sun was warm. Women were semi nude. Same shit, different year.
TCO then went back into form in August, when it became painfully obvious to even those living in the most remote parts of the world that the Swedish Vägverket (Road & Safety) could easily match any propaganda machine of any time or date.
In September, the brand new Beverly Hills show kicked off with an oral sex scene that, as subtly as an overweight elephant on LSD, told everyone that the new version of the show would suck as much as the old one did.
October seemed to make a claim for most moron filled month of the year, starting off with Hugh Hefner dating a couple of twins who shared a single braincell among them, Sarah Palin being her usual redneck self, the tv-show "Careers on ice" (or perhaps they called it "Stars on ice", I can't seem to remember) and the London olympics featuring Lisa Simpson performing fellatio.
The eleventh month of the year, November brought with it Michael Jackson converting to Islam. Either way you look at it, these days he's really just a pale version of his old self.
Finally, December came along, as usual the black sheep of the year, deciding to show up last while all the other months were long since tired of waiting. Hell, January had almost been here a whole year. Anyway, it was worth the wait as December brought the most bizarre story of the year: Adolf Hitler couldn't get his birthday cake. You would think that's because the "genocidal fuckhead", as Eddie Izzard aptly put it, is long dead, but this was the story of a couple of rednecks naming their children Adolf Hitler, Joycelynn Aryan Nation and Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie. Certain names bring with them certain assumptions - you think, for example, children named "Jeeves" are destined to become butlers - and I'm assuming this trio won't really make it to the White house unless that's what they actually call their trailer park home.
There we are, the year in ten paragraphs. Before we end, there still are the TCO awards to hand out though.
The "Putting the fun in dysfunctional" award of the year goes to: Amy Winehouse.
The "What the fuck have I done to be allowed on TV at all" award of the year goes to: Carolina Gynning.
The "What the fuck have I done to be allowed to even speak" award of the year goes to: Linda Rosing.
That's it. Now sod off and have a great news years, everyone!
/JP
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