What's up with OGC, part II

Another piece for my brother Niklas.

A while back I wrote about the OGC logo that wasn't, well, quite what they had hoped for, I'm guessing.

Now I'm thinking the same firm got the job of designing the official logo for the 2012 London Olympic Games.



Now I can't be the only one who thinks that looks like Lisa Simpson giving a blowjob?

Speaking of which, who the hell thought of this one? Gary Glitter?



/JP

Headline Linda - back with a vengeance

As I just recently wrote, Linda "The biggest joke in recent Swedish history" Rosing is about to have her own show, sort of. Anyway, details about the show and the deal she had to sign recently became public. In an interview with the woman who just recently said that Headline Linda would be no more. Heh.

First off, the contract. Yet again, these are all actual quotes. Nothing is added for comedic effect, although translations have obviously been made.

1. Linda cannot be in a relationship, nor claim to be in a relationship, with anyone outside the show.

2. Linda cannot date, have sexual relations or claim to do either with anyone outside the show.

So, let me guess this straight. They have to, through written contract, make her not sleep around or lie? Speaks volumes about her character, doesn't it?

Now back to the interview.

Linda states that "looks aren't important, but a sense of humor, self distance and independence all are". I don't know about you, but I find that hilarious coming from a person who has had plastic surgery, well, everywhere, is completely oblivious to the fact that she's a complete joke herself, has no self distance and is so dependent of others, she's actually getting a tv-show just to find someone to cling on to.

Linda continues: "He needs to be a good role model for my kids, someone to look up". Nothing like their mother, then. I guess she's hoping opposites do attract.

My favorite part though is the last bit of the interview, where the journalist (and I use that term quite loosely) asks her if she ever wants to be an average Jane, unknown to the masses to which Linda replies: "No, that's not my thing. I want to be where I am today. I like being famous and I have no regrets. It's my choice. If not, I wouldn't be where I am today, with a blog going well and all."

This is a woman who just a few months ago said she hated being in the public eye and never ever wanted to be Headline Linda again. The only reason she's where she's at today, which let's be frank is about one inch above the shit, is because someone was stupid enough to give her a tv-show. Unless you're Perez Hilton, a "blog going well" isn't exactly a yardstick for success.

Jebus.

/JP

Looking for a date

Waaaay back in April, I wrote a piece on Linda Rosing, calling her "the biggest joke in recent Swedish history". However, she told me and the rest of the world that "headline Linda" would be no more. No, she had gotten an education and was to become an air hostess.

Prepare for a shocker - she didn't find a job. Apparently, it's a huge surprise nobody wants to hire a bimbo who, basically, you wouldn't trust to sit correctly on a toilet seat.

So now it's back to headline Linda again, it seems. Oh, joy. Coming up: Who wants to date Linda Rosing?. Apparently, "Worst week" was taken.

Personally, I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole. Will anyone? That remains to be seen. If anyone can be bothered to watch what quite possibly could be one of the most pathetic shows in some time, that is.

/JP

Twinings

The soap opera at the Playboy mansion continues in a tempo, quite frankly, TCO has some problems keeping up with. The latest news: Hef has decided to start dating a couple of 19-year old twins.

First off, the fact that he's "decided to start dating" them further leads you believe he's not so much a magazine owner as a pimp. Either that or those girls are even cheaper than anyone thought possible (if true an amazing feat, it must be said).

A sign the girls don't seem to have all their tools in the box is what you can read on their respective MySpace pages (and yes, these are the actual quotes). Says twin 1, Karissa Shannon:

"Obstacles r put into your life to see if wut u want is worth fighting for!!!".

I'm sorry, I forgot my retarded-AOL-teen to English at home.

Twin 2, Kristina Shannon instead quotes, well, just about every marriage site online:

"Love me without fear. Trust me without wondering. Love me without restrictions. Want me without demands. Accept me how I am. A love like that will be ETERNAL!"

Yeah, it'll be eternal until Hef dies, which should be any second now.

The funniest part in all this? You've got an 80+ male dating 20-something females, and the guy decides the girls are too old.

If there ever was a term such as insignificant other, this'd be the time to use it.

/JP

Following birthday suit

Yesterday, TCO reported that Holly Madison had left the Playboy mansion. Today, it's fellow golddigger Kendra Wilkinson, 23 who has realized she's not getting a cent either. And like that, she was gone. Go figure.

Wilkinson is now dating a 26-year old football player, meaning that her new boyfriend is close to 60 years younger than her (very, very, very) old.

The ex-bunny stated that the Playboy mansion these days is filled with "random assholes", in all fairness not a giant leap from it previously having been filled with random pussies.

/JP

Spearheading the project

Britney Spears' younger sister, Jamie Lynn, 17, recently gave birth to her first child. A moronic decision to bring a child into the world when you're still a teen, you say? Naturally. It would seem like a stupid thing to do, but let's face it, she's not coming from the brightest of families.

Today, the story broke that she yet again is pregnant.

Apparently, and I'm not making this up for comedic effect, she thought she "couldn't get pregnant while she was breast feeding". I'll just let that one sink in a bit.

No, you can't get pregnant while you're breast feeding if you're not having sex during that very moment in time (which, for the baby's sake, I hope you're not). That's about it, shit-for-brains.

Having read this, is anyone really surprised she's wasn't smart enough to use contraceptives in the first place?

/JP

Only buddy Holly now

Ah, so it finally became a reality. TCO's favorite Playboy bunny, Holly Madison, has finally moved on from Hugh Hefner although I'm assuming it's moreso the other way around.

As I've written earlier, the couple was trying to get pregnant. Obviously an idea doomed to failure from the very beginning. Hef's male, so it's not likely he'll get pregnant. Holly, on the other hand, is female, but fucking a male so old his erection comes from rigor mortis.

Even the most retarded could see that she only wanted his money through marriage and a child and that he only wanted her to open her mouth whenever he wanted to put something in there.

So TCO is now officially opening a Holly Madison watch to see how long it'll take before she's with another old geezer, all "up in love", looking for cash, a ring and a kid. If you've got news, let's hear it. TCO's official bet is, oh, another hour or so.

/JP

Instant gratification society

As I was listening to the radio earlier today, an ad came on which basically went something like this.

Female voice 1: "Hi! My name is Something Orother. I work all day repairing wheels and brakes on trains. It's really cramped and tight in there".
Female voice 2: "Do you need to lose weight? We are proud to be able to offer various surgical procedures".

It was a serious ad, I might add.

Although the girl's boyfriend probably is happy she underwent surgery - he too was working under trains in a way, and I doubt he had the good luck of getting to feel anything tight besides his own breathing - couldn't the girl just have gone to the gym?

We live in an instant gratification society today. People borrow money to go on vacation, hoping to get into the Mile High Club. They undergo surgery to lose weight, hoping to leave the Mile Wide Club.

It's all now, now, now, gimme, gimme, gimme.

Had Rocky been written today, he wouldn't even have made it outside the door.

/JP

Stars on ice

Alright, back to the ever ongoing war on stupidity.

I don't know how unique this is - most shows typically aren't - but TV4 up here in Swedenland is currently running a show called "Stars on ice". It's a "Let's dance"/"Dancing with the stars" hybrid, only this time it's all on ice. Not the most brilliant concept in theory, even further from it in reality.

The show's two presenters are Carolina Gynning and Carina Berg. The gruesome twosome.

In all honesty, Berg you could probably cope with. Gynning on the other hand, as the loyal reader knows, makes you want to stab your eyes and ears out with a blunt kitchen knife. Not only is she one of the least intelligent people ever to have graced the TV-screen (if you gave her a penny for her thoughts, you'd get change back), she's also got a habit of speaking just a few decibels louder than the normal person. All in all, I'm willing to bet she'll be the main reason the show itself is put on ice along with, if God is good, her so-called career.

Anyone with a hotline to the Pope?

/JP

Palindrome

A serious take once again.

I've been asked a few times lately about my take on the American election. To be blunt, from an international perspective, it's a circus. Although I must admit, this year the two main candidates both seem to have strong points.

A black president would be good for the states, no doubt in my mind about it.

McCain on the other hand is probably the best Republican candidate in quite some time.

The selection of Sarah Palin, however, is completely beyond me. Lacking other plausible explanations, I'm guessing there were nude images of McCain and a goat involved. For crying out loud, the woman is a complete joke both as a person and politician. A redneck whose experience of foreign politics comes from Alaska "being close to Russia". At the moment, she's close to bringing down McCain, and should she, somehow, make it into office, she'll be that much closer to bringing down the USA as well. I mean, if McCain moves on to the other side, she'll be in a position so high up a fall would be fatal.

Time to wake up, yanks, or it just might be too late.

/JP

A great role nude model

As most are aware, lately there have been numerous articles about the poor girls who post their own nude pictures online and then - publically, I should probably add - cry when the pictures are sent from Bombay to Jacksonville via Johannesburg. I've always thought they should cry us all a river and sail away on it 'til the world's end, but then again, I'm a straight shooter.

Anywho, TV4's "Lulu Carter", yes, she's actually called Lulu and looks every part of what you think someone with such a retarded name would, recently posted nude pictures of herself online. Now, this is a woman who at age 30+ (think 30 + 21) desperately tries to look 20, with fake lips, fake boobs, the lot. She doesn't appear to be wearing make-up, but rather different coatings.

This parody of an aging woman, clinging to the last straws of her youth like the autumn leaves hopelessly clinging to the branch after the cold of the winter has stricken the land (ain't I the poet?), posts nude images of herself and what happens? A public outrage, telling her not to put even more moronic ideas into the fragile minds of the so called poor, poor girls who cry because they've done the same? A public yawn? No, she's being coronated as "a great role model for women".

I haven't seen anything this stupid since some oxygen thief of a politician decided we should have 50% female crossing signs.

It seems we just might have another case of Mad Cow Disease on our hands.

Pathetic.

/JP