In the news

And now for a quick recap of some of the latest stories.

Pornstar Jenna Jameson recently became a mother, giving birth to twins. TCO assumes she had an easy birth considering she was fully dilated even before getting pregnant.

A red wine that doesn't get give you hangovers has just been released. TCO notes that if you base your wine purchases on which bottle will give you the least headache the following day, chances are good you're an alcoholic.

According to a recent study, right wing Christian conservatives and mormons do the most porn surfing, or "browsing for gentlemen's selected reading" as I believe some call it. TCO tried to reach the anti-porn movement "American Mothers" for a comment, but without success as they were all busy watching a German teen fornicating with a midget.

Finally, Keira Knightley was nearly killed by a herd of cows. Apparently the story does not involve a mob of fat women with PMS, as mad cow disease has been ruled out of question. Since the event, Knightley has reportedly developed a strong resentment towards cows, becoming what you might call lactose intolerant.

/JP