Had almost forgotten about this piece. Written late December while sitting on a bus heading for TCO's official cottage up north, alongside TCO's official girlfriend.
"Always the diligent one, TCO never takes a break. Truth be told, something happened on the bus that had to be written down for future generations’ benefit. A discouraging example, perhaps, but that’s reality for you. Smacks you in the mouth like Mike Tyson on steroids when you least expect it.
Now, as I am writing this, a woman is seated two seats behind me. This would obviously be perfectly normal if not for the fact that this woman is a genetic breakthrough. Not more beautiful than any previous being, nor stronger in any way, shape or form. No, this unique sentient is, by my estimate at least, the first human ever to actually be able to breathe despite having an IQ below 10.
The rest of us miserable sods - and rest assured she's speaking loudly enough for everyone to hear whether they want to or not - have so far been told, among other things, that we all should keep in mind when skiiing or snowboarding that you go faster down a slope sideways than you do straight down. Also, Facebook is like, really funny, only it’s like not, because it’s like boring and stuff.
I’m certain she should be on a bus somewhere, but this isn’t it.
It's amazing how some people, admittedly most of whom haven't been blessed with much more brain capacity than that of your average gerbil, seem to think that the best way to prove a point, is to speak louder than everyone else. It's the caps lock way of reasoning. Any second now, I'm expecting her to roll on the floor, laughing her fucking ass off. Or something of that nature.
If only her father had used protection on his hardware nine months before her birth.
Or had wanked instead."
/JP
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