In an obviously, as Russel Howard put it, "piss your pants funny" moment, a friend of mine just told me he's gotten a mosquito bite in his ass. No, not on it. In it. I have no idea how he ended up with a bite just millimetres from the actual entrance to the lavender passageway. Perhaps he decided to write a W on each cheek and go "WOW" in front of what turned out to be a not-so-impressed bug, I don't know.
Anyway, apparently it's itching like crazy and he asked me what to do.
Obviously, the way to stop a mosquito bite from itching is to rub it with lemon.
I'm just picturing his girlfriend, walking into the bathroom only to find him with a citrus fruit firmly clenched between his buttocks.
"Hey, have you.. ..WHOA! What the FUCK are you doing?!?"
"I'm er.. ..the world's first human juice press."
Want to bet his ass won't be the only thing in the bathroom turning sour?
/JP
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