David Mitchell's soapbox commentary, parts I and II

British comedian David Mitchell is currently doing a series of, well, commentaries on daily life, I suppose, for Meet the bulldog.

As it so happens, I'm doing a series of, well, commentaries on these commentaries. I will be giving my two cents on his two cents after every episode. Obviously, you'll have to listen to his ramblings to make any sense of mine, but since David Mitchell is a brilliant comedian, you can rest safely assured that his videos are brilliant as well. In other words, it won't be a duty as much as a pleasure. Not taking into account that the last sentence sounded like an advert for pornstar recruiting, let's get straight to it.

In his first episode, Mitchell asked for advice on how to remove a mouse from his house. This had to be done without killing said rodent. My suggestion - tell the mouse to move to Alan Carr's house. If the mouse doesn't care about the possibility of a pussy free haven, lure it into a closet. With any luck, there will actually be a lion in there. If not, the mouse will come out of the closet, and you can once again try Alan Carr's house.

In the second episode, Mitchell spoke about the impossibility of giving women flowers without it having to mean something romantically. Personally, I've always thought it was more a question of context, but I suppose it varies from culture to culture. Anyway, if in fact the flowers have meaning, what do they say? A dozen red roses - you want to take her in front of a fireplace with classic music playing softly in the background? A cactus - you're Max Mosley and you vill have ze bottom zpanked NOW, SCHNELL?

/JP